Last week, we spoke about Christian singles and now, we’ll be talking about Christians in a dating relationship. I love me a topic like this lol.
In the previous post, I mentioned that you’re still single until you get married, which is not a contradiction to this because, in fact, some of these things still apply to dating Christians.
Before Getting Into a Relationship, Consider These Facts:
- The first thing I’ll say about a relationship is, you and your partner must tally, you have to be on the same page.
“Can two walk together except they be agreed?”–Amos 3:3
The worst thing you can do is to date/marry someone out of pity, you won’t only be hurting yourself but the person as well. That isn’t love. You cannot also walk with someone when you don’t have the same principles or values, or at least close ones. I can say there would be some fighting or compromise. Think properly before getting into a relationship with someone.
- Secondly, you have to be the right person to find the right person for you. I talked about this previously. Do this: Make a list of all the things you want in a partner and a list of all the things you do not want, make sure not to leave anything out. Now, make a similar list of all the good and bad traits you have. Check if they match, also see if your bad traits would attract their good traits. If not, work on yourself first, try to match your good traits to the good traits you want in them. That’s a step to making a better version of yourself and attracting what you want.
- Have a plan for your relationship. It shouldn’t be one that leads to nowhere, you shouldn’t date for just dating sake. There’s nothing wrong in being just friends with a person especially when you don’t see the person in your future as a partner. There are also 2 things to note from this:
1. Date your friend.
2. If a relationship isn’t working out, that is when there are way too many red flags in it, please leave the relationship. You have every right to.Date your friend.If a relationship isn’t working out, that is when there are way too many red flags in it, please leave the relationship. You have every right to. Click To Tweet
That being said, let’s move on to the next part of this article:
Making the Best of Your Relationship
Here, I’ll be listing a few things I have learned over time about relationships.
- 1. Learn the skills of effective communication. Communication is everything, 50% of problems could be solved when you speak up. If you’re irritated/angry at your partner, let them know and let them know the reason why. Talk things out like two mature people. If you’re feeling sad/happy, let them also know. Learn how to respond to your partner. Don’t hold grudges against them. Maybe your partner isn’t one to talk much, be patient with them. If you’re the one who doesn’t talk much, understand how the other person feels and learn to speak up. Don’t just expect the other person to “understand” all the time, you should also learn to understand. You get me?
- 2. Be willing to overlook irresponsibilities. I’m not talking about constant red flags though but little things. Let’s say your partner forgot to switch off the light after using the bathroom, for example. That shouldn’t result in you throwing a tantrum. Don’t forget who you are, correct in love, even when you don’t feel like it. Learn to season your words so they bring forth life
- 3. Work on your relationship. If you don’t, it won’t work. Often times I hear people say, “they stop trying to get you after they’ve gotten you.” That shouldn’t be the case, in marriages and in dating relationships. Take your partners on dates, get them those shoes or that dress they like. I’m talking about both sexes. Surprise them once in a while, don’t let your relationship be boring, please. Working out a relationship is definitely not easy but it is possible.
- 4. Let your relationship be discrete but not private. What do I mean by this? Don’t let anyone come between you and your partner, that relationship is between 3 people only; yourself, your partner and God. But when I say your relationship shouldn’t be private, I mean you and your partner should be accountable to people, preferably a couple older than you or a couple that has been in a relationship longer than you.
“Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.”–Proverbs 11:14
- 5. Be with someone you can be vulnerable with but not taken advantage of. It is about serving the other person. Ladies, choose someone you can submit to in marriage even when your partner is undeserving; submission is not subjugation.
- 6. Lastly, let God’s word be the lens through which you view all situations.
Phew! And a few hundred words later, I’m done lol. I really hope you enjoyed reading this. Please like, comment your thoughts, share and subscribe.
I love you and God loves you so so so much.